September

September oh how I loth thee. Anxiety no I wouldn't say that but I will say I feel a pain in my heart like the band aid has been removed. Just a few days away I will just keep walking as I have done for so long. Over the next few weeks I will attend walk for childhood cancer research in honor of one of my sons raise awareness for mitochondrial disease in memory of my 1st born son and breathe through the 1st anniversary of loosing little Isaiah. I have trouble saying his birthday. Maybe someday it will be easier but for now I cannot. At some point Nathanael will have his 6 month scans. Then as the month comes to an end I will brace myself for the parade of 1st birthdays from friends and family who had little ones last year and celebrate with them as I have each milestone their children have had throughout the last year. So hard but I know God will be walking this crappy month with me. The realization that I have had to sons die and held their lifeless bodies is just overwhelming and hard to accept. Still I must it is my truth.

I know other people live way more difficult lives but it doesn't keep mine from being hard. I would say I am doing my best but I have plenary to work on so please don't Judge me I am a work in progress.

September 1, 2014


Let the tug of war with awareness ribbons begin!

September is childhood cancer awareness month

One week 14th-20th in September is mitochondrial awareness

And well sadly I am also very aware of pregnancy and infant loss this month as well even though officially they don't get the spotlight until next month.

I think we should all learn a little something when someone we know is struggling no matter the illness! We had so many that rallied around us through each devastating trial. They didn't care what which disease we were facing. They only cared how they could help.

There are so many other diseases out there too that are underfunded and misunderstood. To those affected it is often the only one that matters because it is close to their hearts and they see the effects everyday.

Just love those around you : ) thank you for loving us.