I have carried the loss of a child in my heart since 2000 when I miscarried our 1st baby. Then when Elijah passed away my heart was heavy yet I didn't crumble when I talked about him because it would seem that the moment I started to JOY would spill out! Strong as I may seem to people I am a mushy mess this week. They may not have seen the tears as I turned my head and swiped them dry and took a lung filling breath before I spoke any more words, they are there just below the surface almost impossible to hide. I knew this year would be tough but never expected it to be this hard!
Overwhelming sadness
As I remember Elijah there were still so many wonderful memories they overshadow the despair. I am struggling to find those joyful moments in Isaiah's life. This is just so difficult. Trusting in our lord knowing Isaiah is with him is my Joyful moment but selfishly I would have liked to see him a year old playing at the park in the water sprouts with his brother today!
Isaiah
September 11, 2013
<3
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